Jatmatruttken is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, conceited crow.

Jatmatruttken created parasitic wasps three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatmatruttken, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jatmatruttken, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jatmatruttken's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Jatmatruttken's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never eat parsnips.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Run away from fawn mites, for they are unholy.