Luncatsis is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, cheerful dolphin.

Luncatsis created the Whirlpool Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Luncatsis, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Luncatsis, she will turn you into a plant.

Luncatsis' most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Luncatsis' Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Luncatsis' priests.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always look after injured goats.