Bitkenwan is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, calm ferret.

Bitkenwan created the Sunflower Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Bitkenwan, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bitkenwan, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bitkenwan's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bitkenwan's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Do not hurt tortoises.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not make images of living things.