Wonarnfad Yartsugcap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fussy cow.

Wonarnfad Yartsugcap created the Black Eye Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wonarnfad Yartsugcap, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wonarnfad Yartsugcap, he will destroy your home planet.

Wonarnfad Yartsugcap's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Wonarnfad Yartsugcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not take Wonarnfad Yartsugcap's name in vain.

4. Always help porpoises.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.