Hogyatgad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, contented otter.

Hogyatgad created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogyatgad, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hogyatgad, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Hogyatgad's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Hogyatgad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about tomatoes.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never feed aubergines to sheep while wearing boots.

5. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.