Stafquillapdangabzakfensog is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, witless dugong.

Stafquillapdangabzakfensog created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Stafquillapdangabzakfensog, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Stafquillapdangabzakfensog, it will send you a sign.

Stafquillapdangabzakfensog's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Stafquillapdangabzakfensog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Do not dye your hair violet.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Retreat if three badgers approach from the east.

5. Always help horses.