Watcunflan is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, contented snake.

Watcunflan created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Watcunflan, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Watcunflan, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Watcunflan's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Watcunflan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Watcunflan in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not speak about limes.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Run away if five great tits approach from the south.