Titjarnshav is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, slow fairy.

Titjarnshav created water eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Titjarnshav, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Titjarnshav, it will turn you into a sheep.

Titjarnshav's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Titjarnshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about nucleic acids.

4. Run away from gray nematodes, for they are unholy.

5. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Titjarnshav in the centre of the settlement.