Somzen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, blissful fish.

Somzen created the Cigar Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Somzen, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Somzen, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Somzen's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Somzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt geese.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

3. Never feed rice to birds while wearing brown tights.

4. Always help rats.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.