Ranquillfet is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, fussy otter.

Ranquillfet created tapeworms two million years ago.

If you believe in Ranquillfet, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ranquillfet, he will be very unhappy.

Ranquillfet's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Ranquillfet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not kill frogs.

3. Never think about quantum field theory.

4. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Ranquillfet.