Narlkopjop is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, astonishing manatee.

Narlkopjop created bats six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narlkopjop, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Narlkopjop, she will be mildly annoyed.

Narlkopjop's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Narlkopjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics near goats while wearing pink stockings and balancing three copper spheres on your feet.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think about dark matter near snakes while wearing orange jumpers and balancing seven zinc spheres on your arms.