Dangumlab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unselfish duck.

Dangumlab created humankind three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dangumlab, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dangumlab, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dangumlab's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Dangumlab's Holy Commandments

1. Put Dangumlab first in all things.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near voles while wearing violet shirts and balancing eight nickel spheres on your back.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.