Bastflab is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, merciful tapir.

Bastflab created the cosmos seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastflab, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bastflab, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Bastflab's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Bastflab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

4. Always wear blue.

5. Do not speak about cucumbers.