Bessgatwat Bidnarlril is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, conceited hyena.

Bessgatwat Bidnarlril created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessgatwat Bidnarlril, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bessgatwat Bidnarlril, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bessgatwat Bidnarlril's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Bessgatwat Bidnarlril's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

3. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

5. Never paint your chest orange.