Hakfednig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, wise aardvark.

Hakfednig created oxygen three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakfednig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hakfednig, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Hakfednig's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Hakfednig's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never feed grapes to seals while wearing stockings.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hakfednig.

5. Always look after injured shrews.