Wigbedstafbud Somtalhen is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, dishonourable rat.

Wigbedstafbud Somtalhen created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wigbedstafbud Somtalhen, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wigbedstafbud Somtalhen, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Wigbedstafbud Somtalhen's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Wigbedstafbud Somtalhen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about carrots.

2. Never hurt capybaras.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Voles are not to be trusted.

5. Wigbedstafbud Somtalhen loves shrews, so they must be honoured.