Tipcusswitdap is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, idiotic meerkat.

Tipcusswitdap created the solar system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tipcusswitdap, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tipcusswitdap, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tipcusswitdap's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Tipcusswitdap's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not keep nine swans in a large pit.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.