Satmadhom is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, compassionate tapir.

Satmadhom created dark energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satmadhom, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Satmadhom, he will laugh at you.

Satmadhom's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Satmadhom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.