Dapvoggess is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, kind otter.

Dapvoggess created the cosmos eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapvoggess, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dapvoggess, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dapvoggess' most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Dapvoggess' Holy Commandments

1. Badgers are not to be trusted.

2. Never sit in the presence of capybaras.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Put Dapvoggess first in all things.