Padfadhim Largcabcam Omtkadsid is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, omniscient wyrm.

Padfadhim Largcabcam Omtkadsid created the Black Eye Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Padfadhim Largcabcam Omtkadsid, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Padfadhim Largcabcam Omtkadsid, it will think nothing of it.

Padfadhim Largcabcam Omtkadsid's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Padfadhim Largcabcam Omtkadsid's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never feed lots of rice to otters while wearing green dresses.

3. Never wear black kilts.

4. Never talk about snakes.

5. Always help cats in need.