Kardagjad Botlanmifnill is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, annoying hippopotamus.

Kardagjad Botlanmifnill created parasitic wasps two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kardagjad Botlanmifnill, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kardagjad Botlanmifnill, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Kardagjad Botlanmifnill's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Kardagjad Botlanmifnill's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise seals, for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never paint your arms fawn.