Nurlnarvad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, compassionate coyote.

Nurlnarvad created time and space eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurlnarvad, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nurlnarvad, she will turn you into a dog.

Nurlnarvad's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Nurlnarvad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue monkeys, for they are unholy.

2. Always look after injured goats.

3. Never go into orange rooms.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about dark energy.