Tabbapcap is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, humane tapir.

Tabbapcap created humankind nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabbapcap, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tabbapcap, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Tabbapcap's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Tabbapcap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Tabbapcap loves mites, so they must be honoured.

4. Never bounce in the presence of sheep.

5. Never wear shirts.