Fagqueegwee is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, generous gnu.

Fagqueegwee created silver six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagqueegwee, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fagqueegwee, it will be very unhappy.

Fagqueegwee's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Fagqueegwee's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Fagqueegwee on top of all buildings.

2. Always help sick porpoises.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near snails while wearing brown shirts and balancing four carbon spheres on your head.