Tapvolbet is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, strong jaguar.

Tapvolbet created the Black Eye Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapvolbet, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tapvolbet, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tapvolbet's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Tapvolbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not drink water in white rooms.

4. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

5. Do not listen to music.