Lanteenlib is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, fussy armadillo.

Lanteenlib created viruses four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanteenlib, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lanteenlib, he will cry a lot.

Lanteenlib's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Lanteenlib's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Lanteenlib in the centre of the settlement.