Larghigrul Homtarg is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, generous octopus.

Larghigrul Homtarg created time and space three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larghigrul Homtarg, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Larghigrul Homtarg, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Larghigrul Homtarg's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Larghigrul Homtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Larghigrul Homtarg's name in vain.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. You must pray to Larghigrul Homtarg eight times a day.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Larghigrul Homtarg loves otters, so they must be honoured.