Sasmantif is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, almighty cow.

Sasmantif created oxygen eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sasmantif, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Sasmantif, she will turn you into a rat.

Sasmantif's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Sasmantif's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sasmantif.

3. Always help sick gulls.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.