Nabpogben Larntadsad is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, proud jaguar.

Nabpogben Larntadsad created the Milkyway three million years ago.

If you believe in Nabpogben Larntadsad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nabpogben Larntadsad, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nabpogben Larntadsad's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Nabpogben Larntadsad's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

5. Do not kill rats.