Zogspagmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, loving dryad.

Zogspagmeg created gold eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogspagmeg, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zogspagmeg, he will turn you into a plant.

Zogspagmeg's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Zogspagmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zogspagmeg.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics near whales while wearing purple boots.

5. Always help swans.