Ortlibtimtad is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, passionate jackal.

Ortlibtimtad created parasitic wasps six million years ago.

If you believe in Ortlibtimtad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ortlibtimtad, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ortlibtimtad's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Ortlibtimtad's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into indigo rooms.

2. Hide from magenta frogs for they are unholy.

3. Put Ortlibtimtad first in all things.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Erect four zinc sculptures of Ortlibtimtad on top of important buildings.