Quimbagyarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, witty gerbil.

Quimbagyarp created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimbagyarp, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quimbagyarp, she will turn you into a dog.

Quimbagyarp's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Quimbagyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Hide from magenta cats for they are unholy.