Teennegfad is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unfair hippopotamus.

Teennegfad created energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teennegfad, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Teennegfad, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Teennegfad's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Teennegfad's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

3. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

4. Do not speak about grapes.

5. Teennegfad loves ants, so they must be respected.