Cutnarlmut is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, capable unicorn.

Cutnarlmut created the Small Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Cutnarlmut, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cutnarlmut, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Cutnarlmut's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Cutnarlmut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always help dolphins.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near goats while wearing yellow stockings and balancing six lead spheres on your legs.

5. Always stare at clouds.