Gutgedgil is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, loving cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gutgedgil created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Gutgedgil, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gutgedgil, she will turn you into a rat.

Gutgedgil's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Gutgedgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics.

2. Never think about dark matter near sheep while wearing pink tights and balancing three lead spheres on your hands.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Gutgedgil in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never feed lots of wheat to snakes while wearing cyan scarves.