Quilltomgumquamlat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unselfish shrew.

Quilltomgumquamlat created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quilltomgumquamlat, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quilltomgumquamlat, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Quilltomgumquamlat's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Quilltomgumquamlat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never talk about dark energy near seals while wearing mauve jumpers.

3. Never write about quantum gravity.

4. Never feed spinach to ants while wearing black shorts.

5. Pray towards the west.