Nulkimomin is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthoughtful walrus.

Nulkimomin created light eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulkimomin, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nulkimomin, she will not invite you to parties.

Nulkimomin's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Nulkimomin's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always treat eagles with great respect.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.