Gupvonkfon is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, ruthless centaur.

Gupvonkfon created gold four years ago.

If you believe in Gupvonkfon, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gupvonkfon, she will curse you with boils.

Gupvonkfon's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Gupvonkfon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never write about special relativity.

4. Never feed lots of grapes to dolphins while wearing white scarves.

5. Gupvonkfon must be the most important thing in your life.