Rotstafjap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, conceited crow.

Rotstafjap created a photon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rotstafjap, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Rotstafjap, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Rotstafjap's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Rotstafjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near moths while wearing mauve shorts and balancing four silicon spheres on your neck.

2. Never feed peanuts to goats while wearing pink rings.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Rotstafjap.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.