Jinnegyarp Nulyikfom is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, egotistical fairy.

Jinnegyarp Nulyikfom created a top quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinnegyarp Nulyikfom, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jinnegyarp Nulyikfom, she will make you grow a tail.

Jinnegyarp Nulyikfom's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Jinnegyarp Nulyikfom's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Worship no other gods but Jinnegyarp Nulyikfom.

3. Do not kill tapirs.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not jump in public.