Guncinartquat is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, benevolent dragon.

Guncinartquat created the planet Mars four billion years ago.

If you believe in Guncinartquat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Guncinartquat, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Guncinartquat's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Guncinartquat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always treat goats with great respect.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about gravity near otters while wearing yellow kilts.

5. Always take life seriously.