Panzogpak is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, happy goblin.

Panzogpak created the planet Earth seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Panzogpak, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Panzogpak, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Panzogpak's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Panzogpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not speak about carrots.

3. Worship no other gods but Panzogpak.

4. Do not keep seven pigs in a large pit.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.