Vonkimhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, conceited squirrel.

Vonkimhiv created a quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkimhiv, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vonkimhiv, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Vonkimhiv's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Vonkimhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dwarf planets.

2. Never write about quantum field theory.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Never talk about fire.