Podquartpark is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, smart cat.

Podquartpark created life seven million years ago.

If you believe in Podquartpark, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Podquartpark, she will come to you in dreams.

Podquartpark's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Podquartpark's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick foxes.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Podquartpark.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Whales are not to be trusted.