Flatcebcip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, boastful armadillo.

Flatcebcip created the planet Earth seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatcebcip, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flatcebcip, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Flatcebcip's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Flatcebcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about optics.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. You must pray to Flatcebcip four times a day.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.