Tarpmobfum is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, self-assured beaver.

Tarpmobfum created the solar system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpmobfum, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tarpmobfum, she will destroy your favourite star.

Tarpmobfum's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Tarpmobfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near gulls while wearing blue rings.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.