Fagkanarplenbeppagsan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, idiotic yak.

Fagkanarplenbeppagsan created the planet Mars two years ago.

If you believe in Fagkanarplenbeppagsan, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fagkanarplenbeppagsan, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Fagkanarplenbeppagsan's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Fagkanarplenbeppagsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill foxes.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

4. Never talk about optics near cats while wearing green rings and balancing eight silicon spheres on your neck.

5. Never play with disobedient children.