Cadcan is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, witty hedgehog.

Cadcan created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cadcan, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cadcan, he will manifest in front of you.

Cadcan's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Cadcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Cadcan loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Never write about archaea.

5. Do not covet oxen.