Veennigtailkapcat is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, stupid crab.

Veennigtailkapcat created a strange quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veennigtailkapcat, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Veennigtailkapcat, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Veennigtailkapcat's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Veennigtailkapcat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Always help great tits.

3. Do not kill doves.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not listen to music.