Flanbidapp Stafpakgup is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, tranquil shark.

Flanbidapp Stafpakgup created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanbidapp Stafpakgup, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flanbidapp Stafpakgup, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Flanbidapp Stafpakgup's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Flanbidapp Stafpakgup's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flanbidapp Stafpakgup.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never feed coconuts to great tits while wearing dresses.